Brannon John
Brannon John
Brannon John Photography: Mazur
Words by Andrew Cannon
Yo Brannon, what is up?
Nothing, just watching South Park.
Very nice. Alright, you ready to get some questions asked?
Sure sure, you got some good ones all lined up?
Unfortunately, no. I even tried to get the dirt on you and I couldnt get shit.
Im a boring dude.
Obviously. Alright, so we will start off with naming sponsors and all that stuff.
Um, Traffic Skateboards and Kinetic Skate Shop I guess by default, but its definitely better than anything else.
Where are you from?
Delaware.
Yo Brannon, what is up?
Nothing, just watching South Park.
Very nice. Alright, you ready to get some questions asked?
Sure sure, you got some good ones all lined up?
Unfortunately, no. I even tried to get the dirt on you and I couldnt get shit.
Im a boring dude.
Obviously. Alright, so we will start off with naming sponsors and all that stuff.
Um, Traffic Skateboards and Kinetic Skate Shop I guess by default, but its definitely better than anything else.
Where are you from?
Delaware.
What part?
Are these questions gonna get more exciting?
Were doing the basics; this has to be like a half hour long.
Alright, Newark, Delaware.
What do you do for a living?
I sell skateboards at Kinetic Skateboarding Shop.
And you own that, right?
Yes, its my store that I own with the infamous Ben Jones.
Did you go to college?
Yes, University of Delaware.
And you graduated with ?
A business degree, and I went into business. Pretty helpful I guess.
How so?
I dont plan on working for anyone ever in my life, so I gotta figure out how to run things myself, and a business degree helps out I think.
Are these questions gonna get more exciting?
Were doing the basics; this has to be like a half hour long.
Alright, Newark, Delaware.
What do you do for a living?
I sell skateboards at Kinetic Skateboarding Shop.
And you own that, right?
Yes, its my store that I own with the infamous Ben Jones.
Did you go to college?
Yes, University of Delaware.
And you graduated with ?
A business degree, and I went into business. Pretty helpful I guess.
How so?
I dont plan on working for anyone ever in my life, so I gotta figure out how to run things myself, and a business degree helps out I think.
Trick: Ollie Photography: Ryan Gee
How long have you been skateboarding?
Too long.
Thats all youve got for me? How old are you?
Im too old.
No, lets get some number in here.
I think Im like 39 and Ive been skating for 45 years.
So how does it feel to have two first names?
I dont. I have a first and a last name, and a lot of other people fucked up my last name... nobody else has my first name.
I call bullshit on that. I think I can look it up on Google.(I proceeded to look it up on Google and found nothing, he interrupted with )
Ive Googled myself before, have you?
All right, so what about this bird shit you have on your head?
Um Im an old man. Actually it has nothing to do with how old I am. I had this girlfriend who was a year older than me and acted like she was 15 years older than me. She stressed me out and gave me a fuckin gray patch. I think thats what it has to be.
Willy Akers was calling it a birthmark.
No, its only been there since I was like 18, which was right around when I started dating this girl.
Too long.
Thats all youve got for me? How old are you?
Im too old.
No, lets get some number in here.
I think Im like 39 and Ive been skating for 45 years.
So how does it feel to have two first names?
I dont. I have a first and a last name, and a lot of other people fucked up my last name... nobody else has my first name.
I call bullshit on that. I think I can look it up on Google.(I proceeded to look it up on Google and found nothing, he interrupted with )
Ive Googled myself before, have you?
All right, so what about this bird shit you have on your head?
Um Im an old man. Actually it has nothing to do with how old I am. I had this girlfriend who was a year older than me and acted like she was 15 years older than me. She stressed me out and gave me a fuckin gray patch. I think thats what it has to be.
Willy Akers was calling it a birthmark.
No, its only been there since I was like 18, which was right around when I started dating this girl.
Trick: Backside Flip Photography: Mazur
Speaking of girls, everyone was saying you like to date crazy girls. Whats up with that?
Um, I just date girls and they all happen to be crazy, every single one of them. Theyre definitely a bunch of crazy broads.
Whats your middle name?
Paul. I was named after my very fine grandfather who just passed away. He built airplanes and boats.
Where at?
In Utah.
What do you need a boat for in Utah?
There are lakes there, but building an airplane, thats pretty bad-ass.
That is true. Would you build an airplane?
Hell no, thatd be scary. Im scared to fly in commercial planes.
Um, I just date girls and they all happen to be crazy, every single one of them. Theyre definitely a bunch of crazy broads.
Whats your middle name?
Paul. I was named after my very fine grandfather who just passed away. He built airplanes and boats.
Where at?
In Utah.
What do you need a boat for in Utah?
There are lakes there, but building an airplane, thats pretty bad-ass.
That is true. Would you build an airplane?
Hell no, thatd be scary. Im scared to fly in commercial planes.
Trick: Backside Nosebluntslide Photography: Mazur
Wait, you said he flew them?
He built it in his garage and flew it.
Oh, I thought you meant he built it for a company.
No, he just built one in his garage and flew around in it. And he wasnt a pilot beforehand either. He went and got a license so he could fly the plane he built.
Thats sort of awesome. Was it big? Like what kind of a wingspan?
I dont know, like 20 feet. It was like big enough for him to climb into and that was it.
Did you ever fly in it with him?
No, but I got a picture of me sitting on the wing when I was a little kid. I think its still out there. Like, some guy owns it and is flying it still.
So you dont like flying?
No I dont, I do it too much. It annoys me.
Where have you gone?
I went to Oregon, L.A., Utah, Australia, and I went to Utah again.
Was everything for skateboarding?
One snowboarding trip, one funeral, and the rest were skateboarding trips.
He built it in his garage and flew it.
Oh, I thought you meant he built it for a company.
No, he just built one in his garage and flew around in it. And he wasnt a pilot beforehand either. He went and got a license so he could fly the plane he built.
Thats sort of awesome. Was it big? Like what kind of a wingspan?
I dont know, like 20 feet. It was like big enough for him to climb into and that was it.
Did you ever fly in it with him?
No, but I got a picture of me sitting on the wing when I was a little kid. I think its still out there. Like, some guy owns it and is flying it still.
So you dont like flying?
No I dont, I do it too much. It annoys me.
Where have you gone?
I went to Oregon, L.A., Utah, Australia, and I went to Utah again.
Was everything for skateboarding?
One snowboarding trip, one funeral, and the rest were skateboarding trips.
Trick: Kickflip Photography: Mazur
Would you consider yourself competitive? Cause I wont lie, I think you kinda are. But not like a dickhead kind of competitive. Youre like, friendly competitive. Do you feel that way?
Yeah, probably. Actually, I think I figure if anybody else can do something I can do it too. So I like trying to see if I can do it. Like most people complain about going to blown out spots or blown out handrails, blown out whatever. I like going to all those spots just to be like, Yeah, I grinded that handrail, just cause. And like, nollie flip nose blunts been done on it. I do it just so I can be like, I like skating that spot. Other people do, I do too.
What do you think the difference between an am and a pro is? What separates an am from a pro? Why should someone turn pro?
Um, they should turn pro when they are elevating skateboarding. Like, theyre pushing something. There are a million kids that are just good at skateboarding. But someone who is helping change and promote skateboarding for the better, and like pushing what can be done on a skateboard and influencing the most people.
So who would you think is a perfect pro in your eyes?
Kinda all the guys who have been doing it the longest, like Koston, Reynolds, and stuff.
What do you think about the politics of skateboarding from an East Coast standpoint? You own a shop so you kinda bridge the gap.
The politics are kinda run in a half-ass retarded way. So many dudes turn pro and never do anything again, or milk some paycheck like even before they turn pro, and then never do anything. So these companies should be demanding things in people, and making sure youre producing. Being a pro skateboarder is selling their brand, their image, their everything, so you kinda have to formulate what you do to that. But at the same time, a good pro skateboarder is gonna be that. Youre not trying to say Hey dude, put a leather jacket on. If youre established and you should be turning pro, theyre already going to have all those things syncing right up with the types of companies they ride for. And those guys never have any political problems. But the guy who is 16 years old and gets a paycheck for $500 dollars a month, and whose ego is the size of Michael Jordans, thats when politics need to come in and that dude needs to get his ass kicked out of it pretty much. There are plenty of people who are half way in between and its hard to sort them out. Like dudes come off as dicks that arent, and guys that are super shitty ride out on a Baker paycheck for five years.
Yeah, probably. Actually, I think I figure if anybody else can do something I can do it too. So I like trying to see if I can do it. Like most people complain about going to blown out spots or blown out handrails, blown out whatever. I like going to all those spots just to be like, Yeah, I grinded that handrail, just cause. And like, nollie flip nose blunts been done on it. I do it just so I can be like, I like skating that spot. Other people do, I do too.
What do you think the difference between an am and a pro is? What separates an am from a pro? Why should someone turn pro?
Um, they should turn pro when they are elevating skateboarding. Like, theyre pushing something. There are a million kids that are just good at skateboarding. But someone who is helping change and promote skateboarding for the better, and like pushing what can be done on a skateboard and influencing the most people.
So who would you think is a perfect pro in your eyes?
Kinda all the guys who have been doing it the longest, like Koston, Reynolds, and stuff.
What do you think about the politics of skateboarding from an East Coast standpoint? You own a shop so you kinda bridge the gap.
The politics are kinda run in a half-ass retarded way. So many dudes turn pro and never do anything again, or milk some paycheck like even before they turn pro, and then never do anything. So these companies should be demanding things in people, and making sure youre producing. Being a pro skateboarder is selling their brand, their image, their everything, so you kinda have to formulate what you do to that. But at the same time, a good pro skateboarder is gonna be that. Youre not trying to say Hey dude, put a leather jacket on. If youre established and you should be turning pro, theyre already going to have all those things syncing right up with the types of companies they ride for. And those guys never have any political problems. But the guy who is 16 years old and gets a paycheck for $500 dollars a month, and whose ego is the size of Michael Jordans, thats when politics need to come in and that dude needs to get his ass kicked out of it pretty much. There are plenty of people who are half way in between and its hard to sort them out. Like dudes come off as dicks that arent, and guys that are super shitty ride out on a Baker paycheck for five years.
Trick: Ollie Photography: Mazur
What would you say the difference is between skateboarding on the East Coast and the West Coast? Or just like the East Coast and anywhere?
Its a lot harder; you have to be a lot more dedicated to doing it. The harsh winters on the East Coast just destroy our spots, so everything isnt perfect. Youre trying to find something that is ideal for what you want to skate that day, and it is hard. Where as tons of California spots have ideal skate park ground. Like Philadelphia is 200 years old. Like when we find a street gap there is probably cobblestone in the middle thats been there for 200 years. Where as theres none of that in a lot of other parts of the world or parts of the country especially. Thats part of why everyone is drawn to Barcelona so much. They have old good architecture and weather thats not too bad, so everything stays alright.
You went to Barcelona right?
Yeah.
With who?
The hottest of the hot crews for like two weeks. Ricky Oyola, Cairo, Kenny Reed, Justin Strubing, Paul Shier, and like five more dudes that were staying in Kenny Reed and Paul Shiers two bedroom apartment. Everyday we had some guy scream at us in Spanish that he was kicking us out, and that we made too much noise, and that there were too many people there. Those dudes were awesome. That was a super fun trip.
But you went there like 4 or 5 years ago right before it got blown out?
Yeah, around then.
I heard through the grapevine that you have a fantasy that you want to own a Harley.
Lately Ive been wanting a Harley. My brother owns two, and the last time I visited him I was like, Let me ride your Harley. Ive never ridden a motorcycle. The only time Ive ridden anything, I rode one of those little scooters where like your feet kinda sit in front of you and I wrecked it. I slid it sideways through an intersection into a parked car.
How did that happen?
I dont know. I never rode one before. That was the last time I rode anything like that. So anyway, I was like let me ride your Harley, and he let me ride it and it was awesome. Its really fun. I always figured you cant get a motorcycle because they are gonna be to fun and fast and youll die. But a Harley is really big and loud and not as crazy fast. It being so loud everybody kinda knows youre there. Its big and bulky too, so you cant be too big an asshole on it. I figure I should get one of those one of these days, when Im old. When I cant walk anymore Im gonna ride around on a Harley. Ill be riding a Harley and playing golf.
Do you play golf?
No, I played once. Ive been to the driving range a few times. I like watching golf. Thats probably the sport I watch more than any other sport on TV. I got real into Tiger Woods golfing.
Youre the mellowest dude Ive ever met in my entire life, and everyone feels that way. Youre super monotone and you never flip out on anything, yet you listen to metal.
Well, if you look at my music selection its kinda flat because Ill have Ill make a play list and it will be like some Metallica song, a Built To Spill song, a Frank Sinatra song, like ten Johnny Cash songs, and then a Slayer song. And that balances me out where Im just flat and boring.
But the thing is, youre not boring. I know youre definitely not boring. The best is when you get drunk and dance. You have the sickest dance moves ever and dude, tell me if this is true, Zach said that you go to dance clubs.
I dont go to dance clubs. I go to like the Indy rock DJ party bars where you dance with a bunch of Indy rock girls. I go to like
Its a lot harder; you have to be a lot more dedicated to doing it. The harsh winters on the East Coast just destroy our spots, so everything isnt perfect. Youre trying to find something that is ideal for what you want to skate that day, and it is hard. Where as tons of California spots have ideal skate park ground. Like Philadelphia is 200 years old. Like when we find a street gap there is probably cobblestone in the middle thats been there for 200 years. Where as theres none of that in a lot of other parts of the world or parts of the country especially. Thats part of why everyone is drawn to Barcelona so much. They have old good architecture and weather thats not too bad, so everything stays alright.
You went to Barcelona right?
Yeah.
With who?
The hottest of the hot crews for like two weeks. Ricky Oyola, Cairo, Kenny Reed, Justin Strubing, Paul Shier, and like five more dudes that were staying in Kenny Reed and Paul Shiers two bedroom apartment. Everyday we had some guy scream at us in Spanish that he was kicking us out, and that we made too much noise, and that there were too many people there. Those dudes were awesome. That was a super fun trip.
But you went there like 4 or 5 years ago right before it got blown out?
Yeah, around then.
I heard through the grapevine that you have a fantasy that you want to own a Harley.
Lately Ive been wanting a Harley. My brother owns two, and the last time I visited him I was like, Let me ride your Harley. Ive never ridden a motorcycle. The only time Ive ridden anything, I rode one of those little scooters where like your feet kinda sit in front of you and I wrecked it. I slid it sideways through an intersection into a parked car.
How did that happen?
I dont know. I never rode one before. That was the last time I rode anything like that. So anyway, I was like let me ride your Harley, and he let me ride it and it was awesome. Its really fun. I always figured you cant get a motorcycle because they are gonna be to fun and fast and youll die. But a Harley is really big and loud and not as crazy fast. It being so loud everybody kinda knows youre there. Its big and bulky too, so you cant be too big an asshole on it. I figure I should get one of those one of these days, when Im old. When I cant walk anymore Im gonna ride around on a Harley. Ill be riding a Harley and playing golf.
Do you play golf?
No, I played once. Ive been to the driving range a few times. I like watching golf. Thats probably the sport I watch more than any other sport on TV. I got real into Tiger Woods golfing.
Youre the mellowest dude Ive ever met in my entire life, and everyone feels that way. Youre super monotone and you never flip out on anything, yet you listen to metal.
Well, if you look at my music selection its kinda flat because Ill have Ill make a play list and it will be like some Metallica song, a Built To Spill song, a Frank Sinatra song, like ten Johnny Cash songs, and then a Slayer song. And that balances me out where Im just flat and boring.
But the thing is, youre not boring. I know youre definitely not boring. The best is when you get drunk and dance. You have the sickest dance moves ever and dude, tell me if this is true, Zach said that you go to dance clubs.
I dont go to dance clubs. I go to like the Indy rock DJ party bars where you dance with a bunch of Indy rock girls. I go to like
Trick: Nosegrab to Disaster Photography: Mazur
Whats that one place? That Indy rock dance club?
The 700 Club. Its not a club, its a house. It feels like a house party. Its a row home that has a bar on the first floor and the upstairs is a bar and a dance floor. The DJ has a piece of plywood on top of a bathtub, like a stand where his turntables are and stuff above that. Thats how the bar is laid out. Its like an Indy rock-like-house-party-bar place.
You go there?
Yeah.
Often?
Way too often. Its kinda like the last resort of any night, any weekend night. What can we do?
You ever pull any chicks?
Uh
What, you dont kiss and tell?
Nah, Im lame. Im not the stud machine that Andrew Cannon is, and thats my problem you see. Youre livin it up in the college days and I got this girlfriend from the first day of college to the last day of college. I blew my window for the hot stuff machine.
Thats ok; you can come out and visit me in Hairizona.
Yeah, I cant wait to date 18 year-old girls.
Dude its gonna be great, just make sure you dont I heard your hairline is receding.
Yeah right, get the hell out of here. If I was going bald I would be bald as hell right now. Both of my brothers went bald when they were still in high school. Im keeping my hair. Both my brothers are like shiny bald. My one brother moved to Delaware when he was like a junior, and he couldnt make any friends cause everyone thought that he was a nark.
The 700 Club. Its not a club, its a house. It feels like a house party. Its a row home that has a bar on the first floor and the upstairs is a bar and a dance floor. The DJ has a piece of plywood on top of a bathtub, like a stand where his turntables are and stuff above that. Thats how the bar is laid out. Its like an Indy rock-like-house-party-bar place.
You go there?
Yeah.
Often?
Way too often. Its kinda like the last resort of any night, any weekend night. What can we do?
You ever pull any chicks?
Uh
What, you dont kiss and tell?
Nah, Im lame. Im not the stud machine that Andrew Cannon is, and thats my problem you see. Youre livin it up in the college days and I got this girlfriend from the first day of college to the last day of college. I blew my window for the hot stuff machine.
Thats ok; you can come out and visit me in Hairizona.
Yeah, I cant wait to date 18 year-old girls.
Dude its gonna be great, just make sure you dont I heard your hairline is receding.
Yeah right, get the hell out of here. If I was going bald I would be bald as hell right now. Both of my brothers went bald when they were still in high school. Im keeping my hair. Both my brothers are like shiny bald. My one brother moved to Delaware when he was like a junior, and he couldnt make any friends cause everyone thought that he was a nark.
Trick: Ollie to 5-0 Photography: Mazur
Cause he was bald he looked like he was 35. So you think youre gonna go gray then?
Uh maybe. I dont think Ill live to be that old. Im gonna get hit by a bus.
So why do they call you The Punisher?
Nobody calls me that. Ben and Jay like to make up scenarios about how my life really is, and one of them includes me being some kind of woman punisher. Something about wearing a foam cowboy hat and spurs and dancing around with guns or something. I dont even really remember.
No, I think you remember you just dont want to tell us.
No, thats essentially it.
What other kind of scenarios do they make up?
That I am the littlest guy ever. Im so tiny that you cant even see me and that I might get stepped on cause Im such a tiny, tiny man.
Which is funny cause Ben Jones is not much bigger than you.
Yeah, but hes the senior BJ and Im the Lil BJ.
Is he older than you?
Yeah.
How much older?
At least 30 or 40 years. Have you ever talked to that guy?
I heard that because of him, you have crazy eating habits. I heard that because of him, you eat fucked up.
Or maybe cause I live next to a Wawa and thats all I eat. Ben has the weird eating habits. He has this moral dilemma that allows him to only eat bagels. Seriously, he eats like five bagels a day and no other food.
Speaking of morals, whats the story? Are you Mormon?
The family raised me that way, but Im not much of a religious man.
I never knew that.
Until when?
Until tonight.
Really? Why do you think all my family lives in Utah? Theyre a bunch of crazy kooks.
Uh maybe. I dont think Ill live to be that old. Im gonna get hit by a bus.
So why do they call you The Punisher?
Nobody calls me that. Ben and Jay like to make up scenarios about how my life really is, and one of them includes me being some kind of woman punisher. Something about wearing a foam cowboy hat and spurs and dancing around with guns or something. I dont even really remember.
No, I think you remember you just dont want to tell us.
No, thats essentially it.
What other kind of scenarios do they make up?
That I am the littlest guy ever. Im so tiny that you cant even see me and that I might get stepped on cause Im such a tiny, tiny man.
Which is funny cause Ben Jones is not much bigger than you.
Yeah, but hes the senior BJ and Im the Lil BJ.
Is he older than you?
Yeah.
How much older?
At least 30 or 40 years. Have you ever talked to that guy?
I heard that because of him, you have crazy eating habits. I heard that because of him, you eat fucked up.
Or maybe cause I live next to a Wawa and thats all I eat. Ben has the weird eating habits. He has this moral dilemma that allows him to only eat bagels. Seriously, he eats like five bagels a day and no other food.
Speaking of morals, whats the story? Are you Mormon?
The family raised me that way, but Im not much of a religious man.
I never knew that.
Until when?
Until tonight.
Really? Why do you think all my family lives in Utah? Theyre a bunch of crazy kooks.
Trick: Double Ollie Photography: Mazur
I heard that when you were younger your parents werent really into buying you skate stuff. Like you always had to save up for it.
Yeah, they always thought skateboarding was stupid and I wasnt allowed to ask for skateboard stuff. Even for like my birthday or Christmas. I could ask for whatever, but it couldnt be skateboard stuff cause they thought it was like evil or something, and would lead to a life of stonerville. They thought I would amount to nothing and do nothing but ride my skateboard all the time, that I wouldnt do anything with my life. But it seems that is has worked out.
Speaking of stoner, youre not a stoner or anything right? Because youre super mellow not to be. Im sure than when people meet you they are like
No I dont think anybody thinks Im a stoner. I think they think Im a dick because I dont talk unless Ive got something to say. I think most people think Im rude or something, but Im not.
So to let everyone know, Brannon is not a dick. Just is a man of few words. When are you turning pro?
I think Ive got to kickflip feeble this 45-stair handrail and then its golden. Because handrails and Traffic Skateboards go together. Im not turning pro.
Is there anything else you want to say? Anything profound that you feel you need to say?
I think Ive said it all. Youve got to go to Kinetic Skateboarding because its the best skateboard shop in the world. Easily the world, and maybe the universe. And everyone should ride Traffic Skateboards because they are East Coast instead of some World Industries poop, or whatever else made in China skateboards they can find at K-mart.
So thats it? Thats your last words? Is there anyone you want to thank?
Andrew Big Balls Cannonball, Ben Jones, Ricky Oyola, and everybody else I go skateboarding with.
All right I guess thats it. Anything else you need to include in there?
Um this is another one of those really boring, dumb interviews that nobody will be glad they read. They will put the book down and say, I am now dumber because I read that.
Yeah, they always thought skateboarding was stupid and I wasnt allowed to ask for skateboard stuff. Even for like my birthday or Christmas. I could ask for whatever, but it couldnt be skateboard stuff cause they thought it was like evil or something, and would lead to a life of stonerville. They thought I would amount to nothing and do nothing but ride my skateboard all the time, that I wouldnt do anything with my life. But it seems that is has worked out.
Speaking of stoner, youre not a stoner or anything right? Because youre super mellow not to be. Im sure than when people meet you they are like
No I dont think anybody thinks Im a stoner. I think they think Im a dick because I dont talk unless Ive got something to say. I think most people think Im rude or something, but Im not.
So to let everyone know, Brannon is not a dick. Just is a man of few words. When are you turning pro?
I think Ive got to kickflip feeble this 45-stair handrail and then its golden. Because handrails and Traffic Skateboards go together. Im not turning pro.
Is there anything else you want to say? Anything profound that you feel you need to say?
I think Ive said it all. Youve got to go to Kinetic Skateboarding because its the best skateboard shop in the world. Easily the world, and maybe the universe. And everyone should ride Traffic Skateboards because they are East Coast instead of some World Industries poop, or whatever else made in China skateboards they can find at K-mart.
So thats it? Thats your last words? Is there anyone you want to thank?
Andrew Big Balls Cannonball, Ben Jones, Ricky Oyola, and everybody else I go skateboarding with.
All right I guess thats it. Anything else you need to include in there?
Um this is another one of those really boring, dumb interviews that nobody will be glad they read. They will put the book down and say, I am now dumber because I read that.
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